Back to the Drawing Board...

I finally did it.

I stopped listening to the lies and accepting the deceit.

I kicked him out.

Well, that's not entirely true. He packed his stuff and left on his own, because he wasn't willing to work on...anything.

I told him, a few days ago, straight-up, that he was not providing me with what I needed in the relationship. He rolled his eyes, and I just sighed a bit, knowing what was going to happen, next. I told him that I wanted him to think about whether he wanted me, or whether he just wanted the convenience of a girlfriend, and to decide if he was going to leave, or stay.

He left on Tuesday.

I was sad...for a minute. Then, I realized that I wasn't really going to miss him. I was going to miss the idea of what he could have been, had he not cheated on me and used me to his own desires.

So, yeah, within the span of 7 hours, I was over him.

It was a learning experience, for me.

I learned that, even though I have incredibly acute instincts, my emotions will fog my judgement. That's something that I've been trying to "fix" for the last 5 years. It's gotten much better, but it still needs work. I need to figure out a way to think objectively and logically, especially when the man I love is around. You see...I'm good at "knowing" that I'm being used and that I need to something about it while he is at work, or otherwise away from me, but as soon as I see him, I cave.

*gags*

So, yeah, I'm single, again...which is honestly what I prefer, anyway. It was nice to have someone to come home to, and it was nice to be able to curl up with a man on a cold night, but it's really not worth the baggage that came along with it. And, yes, though I'm jaded, I know not every man will use me...though, if they do, I'd prefer they use me for sex, rather than a vehicle and a roof.

Seriously, though...

We had sex 3 times in 2 months.

THREE TIMES!

If he'd have just fucked my brains out every night, he could have continued to use me for the vehicle and the roof. I wouldn't have cared a bit. At least then I would have been getting SOMETHING out of it.

Men.

Are.

Idiots.