Women Are Human

Jesus I'm in a mood, today.

I can't seem to shake this feeling of irritability, and I don't know exactly what triggered it.

I saw a post on Tumblr, this morning that caused me great rage. I saw a post on Facebook that made me sick to my stomach. Maybe today just isn't the day for social media. Maybe today is one of those days I should have just stayed in bed.

I need to write, though, or I may just snap.

First off, if you disagree with anything I say in this post, you can kindly fuck off. Yes. For this post, I am taking a stand. Either you agree with me, or you're wrong. Period.

Rape victims.

Are.

Never.

To.

Blame.

There is no reason or situation where the phrase, "Well, if you were more careful, this wouldn't have happened." is acceptable. NO!

"If you would wear more modest clothing, you wouldn't have gotten raped."

"Maybe you should put more clothes on!"

"Stop wearing tight pants!"

"Damn, baby, you look so good, I could rape you."

The fury I am feeling is all-consuming.

How dare you make the victim of a violent attack feel guilty?

How dare you make a woman feel guilty for wearing what she feels comfortable in?

How dare you use that word as a synonym for sex?

How dare you?

The Rape Culture is sickening. It's purely disgusting. Those of you who condone this type of behavior are no better than the predators themselves. Those of you who tell women to carry mace to protect themselves, because, well, "men are just men" are fucking sick.

It isn't just full-grown women who are taught that they are always responsible for their safety, and if they get hurt, then they are to blame...at least a little bit.

Little girls are being told that their pants, or their dresses, or their shirts are "inappropriate" because they distract boys, or because there are predators out there who will take advantage of the way they're dressed.

We're standing aside and allowing people to fill our daughters and nieces with fear, over their clothing choices. We're making them self-conscious from a very young age, and it saddens me. These little girls become more fashion-oriented, than science or math oriented, all because of some off-hand comment that adults made.

"Is this dress good enough?"

"Are these pants too tight?"

..."Will I be hurt if I wear this?"

Those are the questions our daughters are asking in the mornings, instead of:

"Do I have my homework done?"

"Is there going to be a test today?"

"Should I study on the bus, just in case?"

Why are we allowing this to go on?

We need to stop making little girls, and women, feel like the only important thing about them is how they look. This includes the "slut shaming" and putting down women for being too fat, or too skinny, or too tall, or too short, or too blonde, or not blonde enough. Focus on what's important. Focus on the kind of people they will be when they grow up.

Do you want your daughter to keep her opinions to herself, in front of men, because she's afraid of being rejected?

Do you want your niece to feel guilty because a predator attacked her?

Do you want your mother to be more concerned with her new tube of lipstick than her heart medicine? (My mother...)

No. Of course you don't. You want them to be treated with respect, not because they're women, but because they earned that respect by never backing down, by standing up for their beliefs, and by being human.

It's really that simple.

Women are just as human as men.

We all deserve the same treatment.

Wow...Stereotype, much?

I have an online dating profile. A lot of us do, at this point, so that's not a huge surprise. However, I do get shocked by what men get away with saying in their profiles, on a daily basis. Here are some of my favorites:

"Women don't know what they want..."

"I'll treat you like a Queen..."

"I'm a nice guy, but women don't like nice guys..."

"Just looking for FWB, no drama..."

Taking those one-liners out of context, they aren't so bad.  The first guy's profile went on to say that he would make sure that you got everything you didn't know you wanted. He'd also be so kind as to help you through difficult times, like childbearing, cleaning the house, and...Wait... Is this 1950?

The King, HA!, says that he'll lavish you with fine gifts like jewelry, spa days, and make sure that he does the cooking every now and then, too. He also won't be an absentee Father...Again, DAMMIT! Why can't you just stay out of my damn kitchen and let me raise the children like I'm supposed to do?!

The next one made me giggle all the way through the profile. He claims to be a nice guy. Maybe he is, but being nice and buying a woman's affection are not the same thing. He says he'll spoil his woman with lavish gifts, because being a mother is hard work and "you deserve only the best."... You know what else is hard work? Dealing with douchebags who think that the only thing a woman will ever do that will challenge her is raise children...

"Looking for FWB, no drama". Yeah, right. "I'll take you out somewhere nice and romance you," but he's not looking for drama? Is he sure? If you want to get laid, dude, do what the rest of us do. Pick up some poor schmuck at the bar. Leave the DATING websites to people who want to DATE!

Where do I start?

I don't think any of this is men's fault. They have been conditioned, by the media, by cartoons and comic books, by everyday life, that women are just... "soft". We women haven't done much to change the Ideal, for a long time. Sure, some of us work in "A Man's World," and some of us have more balls than men do, but most of us are lost. I'm not condemning those who chose to stay in the home and be that perfect housewife. Do your thing, if that's what makes you happy, but don't chastise the ones who have chosen not to have children, because they want a career.

There are so many stereotypes out there about women. We're nurturing, we like children, we fall in love easily, we like jewelry and chocolate and flowers, we love make-up and getting our hair and nails done, and we make good nurses, receptionists, and cashiers. Excuse me while I projectile vomit.

There.

That's better.

I don't like kids. I love my niece and nephew, but that "adorable" baby your friend just had? It looks like a pink blob. That screaming toddler isn't "going through a phase", it's just annoying. The 12-year-old girl with an attitude isn't "trying to find herself", she's just being a bitch.

I don't like jewelry, or makeup or getting my hair done. I own four bracelets. Two are Avengers Roxo bracelets, one is a rubber cookie monster thing, and the other is a leather strap. My earrings are 10 gauge, and going up...I haven't worn a ring since I lost my second turtle ring. And I won't wear makeup. Other women claim that it makes them feel better about themselves. I just get self-conscious when I'm done up, so it kind of defeats the purpose...

You know what I'm good at? Fixing shit. I've repaired plumbing, cars, wiring; installed windows and doors, rewired sound systems...most of the stereo-typically MALE things...that's what I'm good at. I love cars, trains, planes, motorcycles...if it has a motor, I'm enthralled by it. I like guns. I like getting dirty. I love hard, back-breaking, work. I enjoy working up a sweat. I cuss, I drink, I smoke. I play bloody, violent video games. And, I love sex.

My first thought, at this point, is to try and soften myself, because men like "Ladies"...*gags*... I could tell you about how feminine I can be, from time to time, and try to make myself more appealing, but I'm not going to. Why? Because fuck you and your stereotypes, that's why! I am me. I'm a selfish, self-righteous bitch, and I get along just fine without a man.

"But you have a dating profile!"

Yes, I do! Glad you noticed! I'm not going to bullshit you into thinking I'm some soft, kind, sweet, "proper" woman, and then have you get all shocked when I crawl under the car to change the oil, with a beer in my hand, belching all the way. I am who I am, and that's all that I am...(I am who I am. I'm a hooligan...sorry, had to finish the lyric)

You can't handle me. That's not a challenge. It's just a fact. A lot of the guys I've met are intrigued that I'm into cars and sports and shooting... They think it'd be nice to take their girlfriend with them to a game, or to the range. It's all fine and dandy, til they tell me to make them dinner, and I say, "Fuck off, your legs ain't broke. Make your own dinner." Then, proceed to sit down with my food and eat in front of them.

You won't handle me. You think you will, but you're wrong.

Embarrassing...?

Just because I feel like, I'm going to post something that will, without a doubt, make somebody squirm.

I'm a 26-year-old woman. I'm healthy. My reproductive system is healthy. Other than a few extra pounds, I have no health complaints. I smoke, and I know I shouldn't. I'm mentally stable, in that I'm not on any type of medication to "balance my mood."

I have a period. Regularly. Every 29 days, Aunt Flo, Mother Nature, the Red Tide, whatever you want to call it (I'm curious for responses, actually...) knocks on my door. For 4 days, the lining of my uterus leaves my body. It's not pretty, but it's *natural*.

I have cramps. I get salt cravings, then sugar cravings, then salt cravings, again. There's an ache, constant, dull and annoying in my lower back. Sometimes, I get diarrhea, sometimes I'm constipated; it varies month-to-month. I put on water-weight, and my jeans don't fit quite right, for those 96-100 hours. I'm a little moody, tho I try not to cry for no reason, or scream at anybody. Women who use their period as an excuse to be a bitch make me sick.

What I want to know is: why is that such a shocking thing? Why can't I talk about my period without somebody getting uncomfortable? Why should something natural, something that every healthy female from the age of 14 (or younger; 10, for me) to 50 (or more) has, or will have to, or has had to deal with, be a taboo subject? Why should I be embarrassed when I buy pads from the store? I'm not embarrassed to buy condoms, and guess where they go...?

Men aren't afraid to talk about their reproductive processes. (In great detail.) Why are we?