And, women, there's something in here for you, too! And it isn't going to be much nicer...
:)
Onto the topic of the day!
Entitlement and Obligation. Both these states of being piss me off, to no end. There are a lot of different variations to both of them, but I'm going to focus on dating, and more specifically SEX!
I'm a slut. I know that, most of my friends know that, and I've developed a reputation as "the girl to call when you're horny," which I find extremely entertaining...but that's a whole 'notha blog post.
I have a FetLife profile. For those who don't know, FetLife is a social networking community dedicated, in the simplest terms, to letting your freak flag fly. It's a place where folks in the BDSM lifestyle can go and not be ridiculed or...well, feared. (They're not as scary as people think they are. Promise.) It's also a place for folks like myself, who like a little kink in the bedroom, but can't fully commit to being a Dom or a Sub, to meet people and share experiences with. It's a welcoming place for society's so-called "underbelly". It's pretty freaking awesome, actually. ...but it's not without it's faults.
I have pictures of my naughty bits posted on said profile. Men have this strange idea that because they've seen a picture of my pussy that they are somehow ENTITLED to getting to see it in person. They think that because they came into a tissue over it, that they should be able to come inside of it. Vulgar, yes? *nods*
That's a false sense of entitlement.
No, I don't have to sleep with you, just because you deem it necessary, because of something you saw on the fucking internet. I don't. My body is mine, motherfucker. You have zero...let me say that again: ZERO rights to it. Period. I decide what I do with it. I am not obligated to you in any fashion, whatsoever.
I saw your cock, dude. Doesn't mean I expect to jump right on it. The difference is, I wouldn't try. Why? Because, despite the circumstances behind how I met you, you are a goddamn person. You have feelings and dreams and insecurities and...a life outside the bedroom! What, what?!
Guess what, douche, I'm a person, too. Yes, to the horror of many men, women are real people. We have real emotions and real thoughts and real opinions...and a real foot to shove up your ass, when you push us too far. Trust me, sweetie, no matter how tough and "Dominate" you think you are, a size 9 steel-toe boot to the balls will drop you. And I will do it with a smile on my face, if you corner me.
"But you put your pussy online. If you don't fuck me, that's false advertising." ...*takes a deep breath*
I'm not a car, dickhead. I'm not "advertising" anything. I posted pictures of myself because I'm proud of my body, every single piece of it. I did it for me. Not you. Got it? (No, probably not...)
"If you don't fuck me, you're just a tease." ... (Really, right now?)
Ok, A) I never said I wasn't going to fuck you, ever. I like being tied up and vulnerable during sex. I will not do that with someone I do not know. Period. If I don't trust you, you're not binding me... and B) If you think I'm teasing you, that's your problem, not mine. I never give false expectations. I have never, ever, said to a man "Come fuck me!" and not followed through. I have a list of guys who can back me up on that. (Keep up the bullshit and you won't ever, never ever, be on that list. Promise!)
Men, you need to get off your fucking high horses and come back down to reality. You are not entitled to jack shit that you haven't earned. Sex is a big fucking deal. A huge deal. It's not just rutting and cumming. It's trust and release, and vulnerability, for both sides. If you can't grasp the fact that emotions will be involved, especially when it's good, then stay out of the pussy and practice grasping your own cock til you grow the fuck up.
Ok, guys, go lick your wounds while I tear into my fellow females.
First of all... What the hell are y'all thinking?!
Stop fucking guys just because you think it's going to keep them around. Stop fucking guys because you think you have to, because you sent them a picture of your boobies...or other parts. Doesn't matter. Stop doing things that you know you're going to regret immediately afterward! Just STOP!
I've consoled many a friend, many times, because they regretted sleeping with a guy. The most popular reasoning I get, when I ask "Why'd you do it, then?" is: "Because he would think I was a tease if I didn't."...
So fucking what?!
Never ever, EVER!, do anything you don't want to do. To me, that's easy, now. There was a time when I was insecure and wanted to make people like me, so I feel ya! Sex is closeness to another human being, on a level you cannot experience anywhere else... It feels like the man really likes you, in the moment, and that, especially for an insecure person, is strengthening... Guess what, though? Your ability to lay on your back and spread your legs doesn't make men like you! It simply makes them like to cum when you're around. Vulgar, yes? *nods*
Stop being easy. Jesus.
I'm a "slut". ...I think I've mentioned that before...
I like sex. So, I get it, really, I do. Sex is great, and it's exhilarating and it's...just fun! Endorphines rock, dude! Sex is a good, healthy thing, when it's done for the right reasons!
Sex becomes not fun when you do it for the wrong reasons, i.e. because the guy expects it, and you feel obligated to live up to his expectations. Fuck his expectations right to hell. And fuck you for being a little bitch and not standing up for what you want. And deserve! Grow a pair and realize that this world will not stop turning if one penis doesn't enter your vagina. I promise, it won't.
Your body is yours, ladies. Yours. Not his. Not your mother's, even though they like to think that they own it, because it came out of their uterus. Nope. Sorry, Ma. It's ours. Fuck off.
And, hey, if some douche stops talking to you, because you didn't fall on his dick out of obligation or insecurity, that's his problem. Not yours. If he wants pussy that bad, he can call an escort service and pay for it, or he can go without. Won't kill him.
Another thing! Stop agreeing to sleep with them, without protection, if you don't want to. "But baby it feels so good!" ...yeah, you know what else feels good? Not having herpes. If you choose to go without a rubber, that's your risk, and I won't fault you for it. I've done it. But don't act shocked when you get an STD, or those two little lines show up on that pregnancy test. You made a decision; live with the consequences.
I feel like I'm pandering to teenagers, because it seems like common sense to me. Don't force yourself on anybody, by the use of guilt, and don't give in to make them like you. Treat others like you want to be treated...
Better yet! Ladies, behave as if you would want your daughter to behave, were she put in a similar situation. Would you want her to lay down, just because she showed her tits to a guy and she felt obligated and pressured? ...Think about that for a minute. Let that anger and shame get you worked up. Now, hold onto that feeling and harness it for the next time you decide to lay down for a man you don't want to lay down for.
And, guys...you still here?... Treat women like you would want men to treat your daughter. Simplicity at its finest. If some jackass told your daughter that she was obligated to sleep with them, because she sent them a picture of her tits, you'd probably want to kill them, or at least make them bleed, right? (If you're a good Dad, then the answer is a resounding YES!) Then why the fuck are you doing it to someone else's daughter?!
Oh, and just a little PS, at the end here: Ladies and gentlemen, if both parties aren't fully involved in the consent to sexual activities, be it second-thoughts, or inebriation, or whatever the case may be, that's rape. If a woman says STOP halfway through intercourse, and you don't stop, fellas, that's rape. Ladies, if a guy decides that he doesn't want to fuck you, even after he's hard, but you jump on anyway, that's rape! Don't go there. Just...stop. The orgasm is not worth breaking somebody's spirit.
I could go on for hours about this shit, and maybe I'll post another blog about it, once I've had coffee and nicotine, but for now, let's just not be a dick, K?
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